This morning on my commute to work, my day was made brighter
when I came across a blurb about a cookie heist in Germany. Upon further investigation, I found the story
so amusing that I declared it must be shared.
True Story:
Since 1913, Bahlsen, one Germany’s leading cookie manufactures,
proudly displayed a giant 44 pound (or rather 19.96 kilogram…it is Europe after
all) golden cookie outside its headquarters in Hannover. That is, until someone
stole it earlier this month.
But fret not! This week a ransom letter (made up of letters
cut from newspaper and magazine clippings) turned up at a local newspaper. The note,
signed by Krümel Monster (cookie monster), stated that if Bahlsen ever wanted to
see their beloved golden treat again, they must deliver a shipment of cookies to a
local children’s hospital. The letter specified that the cookies delivered to the
children must be milk chocolate, and noted that dark chocolate or chocolateless
cookies would not be considered acceptable. Should milk chocolate cookies not
be supplied to all rooms of the hospital, the note warned that the giant golden
cookie would be sent to the trash can of Oscar the Grouch, never to be seen
again.
Currently there is a €1,000 ($1,347) reward being offered
for information leading to the culprit. In the ransom letter, the kind-hearted
cookie monster requested that this money be donated to a local animal shelter. The
letter was accompanied by a photo of the apparent thief taking a bite of the
golden cookie.
While
the ransom note and the photo have been forwarded to criminalists for
investigation, a spokesperson from the children’s hospital has been trying to
remind the public that a serious crime has taken place: "One cannot forget
that what we are dealing with here is a case of theft and blackmail…Bahlsen has
already done a lot for our hospital -- it doesn't need to be coerced in this
way."
I beg to differ. When
it comes to cookies, I’m pretty sure, nay, I am certain that a little coercion never
hurt anyone…especially coercion done on behalf of sick children. Bahlsen, this
is a no brainer. Give the children their cookies!
Regardless of the outcome, this heist has me seriously
questioning what I’m doing with my life.
Coincidentally, it also has me wanting to re-watch this
classic:
