“If one reads enough books one has a fighting chance.” –Sherman Alexie

Since 1979, McDonald’s Happy Meals having been serving delight with two key ingredients: delicious food and, more importantly, a toy. However on January 9^th, expectant British children (and likely intoxicated twentysomething year olds) dining at the Royal Golden Arches did not find the traditional joy-inducing (albeit land-filling) Happy Meal toy, but rather a book (which must have been very disappointing the drunks). That’s right. Two weeks ago, McDonald’s Happy Meals across Great Britain started distributing children’s books rather than toys.  Between now and 2014, McDonald’s is estimated to distribute 15 million books, which will make it the largest distributor of children’s books in the entire United Kingdom. Let that sink in for a minute. McDonald’s. The largest children’s books distributor in the UK.

If you’re anything like me, your reaction might resemble, “that’s good!? Wait, no, what?…I mean, it’s better than…wait, what? Sigh. What is this world coming to?”

I think the Atlantic put it best when they said: “Is there an activity that combines whooping and weeping and shaking one's head at the weirdness and occasionally the wonderfulness of the world?”

As privileged Americans we have been so culturally trained to detest* the franchise that to comprehend such a positive action from McDonald’s requires both mental and emotional gymnastics.

According to the McDonald’s researchers, there is a clear link between book ownership and a child’s future success in life. I find this humorously fascinating. While I imagine this research is making the assumption that these books are actually being read, and that it’s not merely book ownership that brings one success, I have found (to my determent) the literal finding to be more true.

You see, as a child, if I had found a book in my Happy Meal rather than a toy, I would have been less than enthused. Despite my best efforts and desires, reading has never been my forte. Growing up, the idea of curling up on the couch with a good book always seemed more a chore than a pleasure. My parents, recognizing this at an early age, did their best to entice me to become more literary. In fact, they even went as so far as to bribe me. One summer my mother and I struck a deal. If I read the literary classic “Little Women,” she would buy me ten CD’s. Music has always been more up my alley, so this would have been a great motivator…had I been a more truthful child. Rather than actually reading the book, I waited a month (which I felt was the reasonable amount of time it should have taken me to complete the novel), and then simply told her I had finished. Giving me way too much credit, my mom upheld her end of the bargain and drove me to the music store.

To this day, I’m amazed I managed to get away with this. I’m also amazed how easy it was (sorry Mom…though, to be fair she got her revenge a few years later when we struck another deal involving swapping river rocks for driving permit hours. Another story, for another time).

My lack of enthusiasm for reading, however, has not seemed to impede success. Coincidently, it has also not kept me from accumulating a sound library. I have bookshelves full of books that I have lovingly moved, year after year, without having opened half the lot. So, perhaps the researchers are literally on to something.

If only.

It is true that my lack of reading has not kept me from attaining respectable grades, a good paying job, healthcare, and stock options. Success…as they say. However, it has kept me from a great many other meaningful things. For example, having never read the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I will forever be stuck with Elijah Wood as my mental image of Frodo (which I assure you is a true travesty). The magical imagery described in the land of Hogwarts will forevermore be limited to the Hollywood rendition, and never will I win a Jeopardy round involving classical literature. These are but small examples when I take into account how I’ve forfeited exposure to writings that have shaped societies, world-leaders, and friends. My vocabulary has been hindered and books that should take weeks to read, now take months (which, naturally, further perpetuates my reading reluctance).

To be fair, it’s not that I dislike reading, it’s just that there are so many alternative activities that sound more appealing. And, as a kid, playing with a Happy Meal toy was certainly one of those activities. Additionally, while I do regret not having any literary connection to “Little Women”, that lie fortuitously resulted in me discovering a number of songs that have shaped me into the little woman I am today (the song, “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems” (which was on the Ultimate Dance Party CD I picked out)is a perfect example of this).

As I’ve gotten older and the consequences of the imbalance in number of songs memorized vs. number of books read have begun to actualize, I consider those British children lucky.  If McDonald’s is taking the literacy rate of children seriously enough to eliminate the joy of Happy Meal toys, perhaps it is time for me to do the same.

Keep up the good and inspiring work McDonald’s!

*I maintain that most of us who “detest” the golden arches, in all honesty, secretly crave its greasy goodness. For me it’s their chicken nuggets. Few things in life are better than those little morsels of mystery meat.