Alright, so this week I somehow convinced myself to be pulled from sacred slumber at 6 freakin’ am to attend spin class. For those of you who know me, you know this is no small feat, but somehow motivation prevailed. So, there I was, Tuesday and Thursday morning walking into spin class. Now, I’ve had my fair share of spin class experience, (in fact going three times a week in Kuwait was one of the main things that kept me sane in that roasting sand box), but no matter how many times I’ve participated in this beloved-by-so many fitness ritual, I cannot get over how silly the whole concept is. Since it had been about a year since my last spin class, I had somewhat forgotten about all its subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) idiosyncrasies. Let’s start with the fact that people religiously go and mount stationary bikes placed in strategic rows for optimal view of the instructor (which, might I add, they somehow always manage to be up on some sort of pedestal – but that’s a whole other matter).
Next, there’s the issue of lighting, or should I say lack-there-of. Every spin class I have ever been to has been conducted in utter darkness. Now, I’m no cyclist, but I can’t imagine there’s a lot of night rides going on. However, maybe the lack of lighting is to help us in the imagination department. There’s a lot of imagination involved in spin class. We’re constantly instructed to climb mountains, race opponents, and win sprint time trials. I’m sorry, what mountains and opponents are we talking about? The only people I’m beating are fools are in the second row with limited access to the fan. Somehow the instructor always manages to forget the stationary aspect of spinning. I understand that these imaginary games are supposed to motivate us to try harder, dig deeper, push ourselves just that much more, but it’s always been hard for me to get over the fact that we’re sitting in the dark, going nowhere, sweating profusely.
Rather than these mental motivations, I rely more on the music to get me through the 45 minutes of stationary fun. Though, even the music choices of these classes have been woefully questionable. In one particular class we spun not just once, but twice to “Where the Streets Have No Name.” While I enjoy this U2 classic as much anyone, twice? Aren’t there other named roads we can ride along? Another favorite is Tom Cochrane’s “Life is a Highway.” It should come has no surprise that any song mentioning: Street, road, or highway are big hits in spin class (part of the whole simulating a real ride by mentioning where a real ride would be taking place). Each instructor spices things up with their own special musical whims. When I was in Kuwait, my instructor had a small number of songs which he played quite frequently. At the time I chalked it up to the fact that he either had a small selection, or really liked these songs. However, when I returned to spin class this week I as was astonished to be spinning the exact same songs! What are the odds of that?! I mean, seriously. Bothered by what seemed to be too much of a coincidence, I googled top spin class songs/playlists to investigate. First of all, across all “top spin class songs” lists, I have never heard a single one of the listed songs played in any of my classes. What’s more, none of the songs that I’ve heard over and over again (and across the world, I might add) made the lists. Does this seem bizarre to anyone else?! What’s even more bizarre, (I know, I know, how could it get more bizarre?!) in my experience the most played spin class song is Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You.” Again, what are the odds?
If you’re having a difficult time understanding why I find this is so baffling, or if you’ve been on the fence about trying out spin class, I encourage you to take your computer into a dark room, put on Clarkson’s tune at full volume (two other international favorites to try are: Pretender by the Foo Fighters and Home by Paul Van Dyk), and start running in place while imagining you’re competing in a big race and you’re number one goal is to come in first against the hundred other competitors.
Fun huh? I’ll see you in class next Tuesday morning.
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